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We've been friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered several obstacles, her resilience is commendable. However, she has been often taken by surprise by others. Her spouse left her, and it was a huge shock. A lot of her friends vanished at that point, as they were focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her. She put in greater energy toward our bond, and must have understood more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many in her circle have disappeared without her being knowing the cause. The company she worked for became hostile, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, and she left unaware of the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we have each stepped back from work leading to more time together, but I am finding my position in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce subjects but she shifts conversation onto things she cares about. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. I attempt to propose verifying facts or other angles.

She is arranging a trip to a nation I know well on several occasions even called home for some time. I attempted to provide insights, however, my input met with resistance. She really only wanted my agreement with her plans. I have returned from 30 days in that place she is eager to catch up, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the consequences of her actions on my self-esteem. Right now, my state is pulling back. What should I do?

Ways Forward

It's possible to walk away, yet this is not often a smooth outcome that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for a solution takes courage and openness from both people.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially involves describing the usual pattern during your discussions. It should be objective and clear and essentially what a recording device would replay. Step two involves sharing the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no dispute about this. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. Step three is to ask how you are both will alter the interaction between you."

Keep in mind she too has her own side, meaning you must to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is to say your friend:

"Please share your thoughts while I will listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably impactful to encourage understanding.

Key Takeaways

Your friend may dismiss your concerns, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a narrative about themselves they're unable to release because their very survival relies on it and it's all they've known. This is difficult when there seems no clear path with these people, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might start out this way and then think your perspective. If a resolution isn't found a fix, it provides satisfaction that you've been open and direct.